We've all heard the quote，‘Be kind，for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle．'

My husband and son died within two years of each other．From my personal experience，I believe that if we aren't careful，grief can become a rather self-involved process in which we can become so focused on our own suffering that we miss the opportunity to connect with，and possibly bring comfort to，someone else who may be going through a similar experience．

Six months after my husband died，I was sinking in the quicksand of grief．I could not pull myself out of the misery．In that moment，I actually believed that my life was more difficult than anyone else around me．LifehandedmeaperfectlywrappedlessonthatopenedmyeyestothefactthatthroughmysufferingIhadallowedmyselftobecomeblindedbymyself-pity．

The lesson presented itself in a health crisis．I had complications （并发症） from a surgical procedure and ended up being hospitalized for four days．I was in an extreme amount of pain during this time．Between the physical pain and the emotional pain of grief，I was an absolute mess．

I should also tell you that I am a Registered Nurse．As a nurse，it is hard to be on the receiving end of medicine as the patient．The first three nights that I was in the hospital，the same nurse took care of me．She was young，maybe in her mid to late 20s，and she hardly interacted with me at all the first two nights，other than to give my medications as scheduled．She obviously had no idea how much emotional pain I was in．How hard is it to ask your patient how she's feeling？I wrote her off as a bad nurse who had little sympathy，and remained absorbed in my own emotional and physical pain．The third night the young nurse was a little more talkative．She asked me how I was feeling （finally!）．I told her that I was struggling with depression and grief because my husband had died in an airplane accident．She looked at me and told me that her husband had died too，just two months earlier．I was stunned．Sp